Today I am having a beautiful experience of life. I’m living my soul’s purpose, I feel good in my body, am healthy, clear, and live with inner integrity. But it definitely wasn’t always this way.
When I was in high school, I took an elective psychology class and was completely stunned that the subject matter was so innate for me. I really GOT this stuff. My connection to psychology and the ease with which it came to me carried me through college. It continued to amaze me how intuitive the material was, and I was thrilled I got to study it day in and day out. It was the natural lens through which I saw the world.
So, naturally I ended up getting my Master’s in Education and became an elementary school teacher. (A “hold on… what?” response is entirely appropriate here.) I didn’t think I ‘wanted’ to be a therapist, so I gave up psychology in lieu pursuing something different, something that had not much to do with who I really was because it sounded better to some part of me. I became an elementary school teacher. There I was, teaching first graders- at an amazing school, with a cute boyfriend, and a nice apartment, and my family all around me — seemed like the perfect life. How lucky was I?
Except for one teeny tiny little thing. I didn’t care even a little bit about teaching first grade. I kept wondering if someone else could teach them how to read so I could talk to them about self esteem and authenticity and the importance of self expression and of listening to one an other. (You’d think that would be a sign, right?)
But I LIKED saying I was a teacher. I loved the schedule and having summers off. Even though it didn’t feel quite right, I thought maybe the disease was a temporary thing that would go away and I would learn to enjoy teaching. Every night I would lay my head down on the pillow, this little nagging feeling would come up that somehow I was in the wrong life. Deep down, I knew I was faking it, but I had the seemingly perfect life and I wanted to keep it. Yet the more I tried to ignore that inner knocking, the louder it seemed to grow.
Finally, it was time. I couldn’t do it anymore. I got accepted to a psychology program in California that I was excited about. And totally petrified. I resigned from my teaching position and panicked. I wanted my current life to be good enough. Was I really going to quit my perfect job, pack up my car, leave my family, drive to California, take out student loans and pursue a career that wasn’t even ‘real’?
I quickly asked for my teaching job back, what was I thinking? It was given to me, but I didn’t feel better. Two days later, I resigned again. This cycle happened several more times as I battled myself and the call of my intuition. In the face of my fear, none of it seemed exciting. I just wanted to be left alone and be okay with the life I had.
After several weeks, even months of terrifying anxiety, dread and what I know now to be resistance, I went to California. I couldn’t ignore the voice any longer. That decision changed everything. I followed this wild and inexplicable pull, and my life began to become magical. It’s not that my life has become easy and problem free since then, but I’ve learned to cultivate my intuition and to listen for the call. I fully believe that this is the way to be free.
Health and well-being comes from learning to trust the voice within. Where we trust, we align to who we truly are, and we become radiant from the inside out. Doors open, our lives are infused with meaning, peace floods in and magic unfolds in all areas of our lives.
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